Why I Support Fred Thompson

For some time now I’ve been supporting Fred Thompson but in word only.  I haven’t been too excited about any of the candidates and Fred has been sorta my default mode.  But then I saw this video.  I tell you, this guy is the real thing.  I’m full on board now.

 

Serious Global Warming Questions

In honor of the UN’s Bali conference on global warming, here are a couple of simple questions that I hope that they answer:

1. IF man, particularly the USA, causes global warming and IF man, particularly the USA, can undo global warming by conservation and reducing the amount of carbon dioxide being emitted into the atmosphere, when and how will we know that we have been successful?
2. IF man has caused global warming and IF man can undo it by conservation and reducing the amount of carbon dioxide being emitted into the atmosphere, then can we also conserve and reduce TOO MUCH thus sending the world into a global ice age?  If yes, how long would it be before we knew that we had conserved and reduced too much?

Unless they can answer these questions I ain’t worrying about global warming.

 

Triticale Needs Our Prayers

If you’ve been to any of the Fox6 Blogapaloozas you’ve undoubtedly met Triticale.  He’s one of the most interesting guys you’ll ever meet.  So amazing that one guy has so much diverse knowledge and is able to recall it at the drop of  hat.

Anyway, Patrick from Badger Blogger reports some sad, sad news about Triticale:

“Tom, from the blog triticale – the wheat / rye guy is in need of our thoughts and prayers.

I received an email from his wife and she informed me that Tom is in Intensive Care at St. Joes with “acute leukemia.” If they can stabilize him, he should be able to pull through this, but he is going through a very rough time right now. Here is an excerpt from her email.

Tom is in St. Joe’s ICU with acute leukemia. Wed AM he appeared
fine, he picked me up after work & ran several errands. 7:30 PM Wed
night his legs collapsed. We thought he had a stroke. He was
admitted to St. Joe’’s with a white blood cell count of 300,000
(normal is 8,000). Thursday AM he couldn’t talk, he is currently
heavily, heavily sedated (only being able to move his right thumb
every now & then just to let me know he’s in there somewhere). We
have had some good news, but the bad news is they can’t stabilize his
red blood cells & he’s bleeding in his stomach.

I tell folks that except for the leukemia he’s healthy as a horse –
which is to say, that if they can get him stabilized his strong
constitution will kick in & pull him through.

She is also thinking about stopping in at Drinking Right next Tuesday night, to meet some of the people that he husband talks about, let’s all hope that Tom can join her on that trip soon.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you Tom and Deirdre Dee.”

Folks, let’s covenant to pray for this man and see what marvelous works that the Lord will do for us today!

 

Flynn’s Focus is in the wrong place

This morning’s Milwaukee Journal Sentinel has a local section story titled “Flynn’s focus is values”.  This is not a good development.  The story’s entire focus is how the new police chief is going to focus on “curing poor public perception of police, bridging the gaps in community relations, and fixing a culture among officers that pressures them not to report misconduct among the ranks.”    Boy!  That’s great news–if you intend to be a criminal in Milwaukee because it sure doesn’t sound like slashing Milwaukee’s staggering crime rate and near national leading murder rate is going to be any part of his focus.  They might as well have asked him if he preferred chaise lounges or folding chairs on the fantail of the Titanic.

Earth to Ed Flynn:  Milwaukee is very close to leading the nation in murder and other violent crime!  Did you somehow screw up and think that you were given the job as head of the Milwaukee Department of Social Services????  I don’t care how you are going to make police officers all cuddly and squishy and concerned about people’s feelings.  I want to know how you are going to make life so incredibly miserable for the criminal element that they tremble with fear and wet their pants every time someone says the word “police”.  I want to know how you are going to turn our criminals into paranoid  wrecks who check under their beds several times a night.  I want to know how you are going to hassle, harangue, interrupt, bother, inconvenience and so disrupt the lives of the criminal element that they will go back to Chicago and Detroit where they will feel less heat from the cops.

Does anyone realize that the real problem isn’t rogue cops beating up a male stripper?  It’s that we have rogue citizens killing people, selling drugs, burglarizing homes, and otherwise making a secure livlihood out of criminal enterprise without any fear of being caught!  Go spend time on the North Side of Milwaukee.  To me, it is totally unacceptable that people can’t have their shades open during the day, have to have 46 locks on every door, have to have fixed bars on their windows and pit bulls in the yard.  The only people who should think that they need that kind of protection should be criminals!!!  There is no way that a city resident should consider it even close to acceptable to have a cop tell a citizen that everyone knows that you should have at least 2 deadbolt locks on every door. 

In short–tell us what you are going to do to turn the Milwaukee Police Department into the roughest, toughest bunch of crimestoppers in the country.  Tell us how criminal rats are going to run over themselves trying to get out of Milwaukee when you take charge of the department.

You can worry about “curing poor public perception” after you change the very correct public perception that there is just too damn much crime in Milwaukee

 

The Confederate Battle Flag

Let’s have some disclosure.   I am related, through a branch of my mother’s side of the family (called a “collateral relation”)  to three cousins who fought for the Confederacy during the War Between the States.  Two of the cousins died as a result of their service.  One died in a hospital Richmond, Virginia following the Battle of Gaines Mills which was part of the “Seven Days Battles” in 1862.  He had been seriously wounded but we have no other information.  The other cousin died of dysintery on a prison ship off of Fortress Monroe Virginia. He had been captured after the Battle of Gettysburg.  He was in what some folks call “Pickett’s Charge”.  Both of these men served in the 40th Virginia Infantry.  A third cousin had also joined the 40th but we have no information other than a statement that he had enlisted.  It is as if he suddenly disappeared from the earth.  All three men were desperately poor.  They farmed tiny farms in Northumberland County, a tough place to try to scrape out a living.  In the early 1700’s we know that branch of the family had a large plantation and a bunch of slaves.  But by the 1860, one of the three cousins had a NET WORTH of $300. That was land and everything on it.  In agreement with what most learned scholars of the War state, these cousins were vastly typical of Confederate soldiers:  90 to 95 percent had no financial, personal, or political interest in slavery.

Now I read that Republican presidential candidate Fred Thompson was asked about the Confederate battleflag last night at the CNN debate.  With Thompson and Edwards being the leading Southerners in the race I knew that it was only a matter of time before this came up.  Now I find it interesting that political reporters never seem to ask candidates from the north if any of their relatives took part in Sherman’s Rape of Georgia or Sheridan’s Rape of the Shenandoah Valley.  But I digress.

I was the commander of the first ever camp of the Sons of Confederate Veteransthat was ever in Wisconsin.  When we grew to two camps, I became the Charter Division Commander.  Because of constraints on my time, I left the SCV but still fully intend to rejoin and be active in it.  During my time with the SCV, I led the very successful fight to get Harley Davidson to back off its decision to ban the Confederate Battle Flag from any gear that had the HD logo on it.

I am very proud of my Confederate ancestors.  They epitomize what is so good about the American soldier.  The driving force that caused them to enlist, indeed most of the Confederate soldiers to enlist, was the simple fact that an invading force had come upon their soil.  These men were fighting to defend their homes. The South could have been invaded by China and the reaction of the men would have been the same.  Few learned researchers have ever found any evidence that a desire to preserve slavery was a motivating influence to enlist in the Confederate military.  Indeed, when you read the racist letters written by many Northern soldiers (including many from Wisconsin) and when you read about the rapes and privations that Northern soldiers often inflicted upon African-American slaves that they encountered you end up questioning why the North was fighting the War.

Now, as to the Confederate Battle Flag.  I fully understand and am moved that some folks would see that flag as an emblem of racism.  I can understand why they get their feelings hurt.  Afterall, the Klan and the skinheads wave that banner in their rallies. Personally, every time I see the Klan and skinheads do that I would like to take that flag and choke them to death with it. You see, they are desecrating the symbol of the memory of my ancestors.  What’s more they put me into the indefensible position of having to prove a negative.  Whenever we would do a memorial service at a Confederate soldier’s grave here in Wisconsin (and there are about 200 Confederate soldiers buried in this state including 140 in Madison)the SCV has to first prove that we are not racists ala the Klan and skinheads.  Few military historians withhold their admiration of the Confederate soldier.  Most wax eloquent when describing the tenacity and ability of “Johnny Reb” to fight given his miserable equipment and supply.  Yet, when we’d do a memorial service consecrating a new headstone on a Confederate veteran’s grave, reporters and local scolds would always challenge us about “how dare you fly that flag!”.  It would be particularly galling when the late soldier’s family was there.  Instead of asking about the soldier and his noble service and the terrible conditions he did that service in, we would be forced to defend our right to fly that soldier’s battle flag.  It is even more astounding when African-American members of the SCV were present.  Oh yes, African-Americans served proudly in the Confederate military and not always as cooks and camp slaves.  Most of the time these men were armed and not just a few of them were freed slaves.  Apparently they too were racists fighting to preserve slavery.

Then we’d get the challenge:  “Well, why honor Confederate soldiers?  After all, they lost.” The answer is simple:  To us, they are family.  Go walk around Confederate Rest in Madison, Wisconsin on a cold and blustery Winter day.  Those men whoa re buried so far from home and loved ones.  Every year one or two families from Arkansas or Alabama come to see a grave.  Many times that is the first time since the soldier was buried that his family has visited.  Some folks have even challenged us with:  “Why don’t you honor the graves of Nazi soldiers, too?”  Well, I’ll leave that up to the descendants of members of the Wehrmacht.  The same goes to descendants of the Imperial Japanese military.  It just gets rather galling that every Confedrate Memorial Day I have to worry if someone might firebomb my house because there is a Confederate Battle Flag hanging out front.

You see, I refuse to let the Nazis, the Klan, and the skinheads steal my ancestor’s precious banner, the one that they gave their life to defend.  There is a lot of talk, and has been a lot of talk, about Southern states removing the Confederate Battle Flag from state-owned property and even from state memorials.  That to me is not only reprehensible, it almost makes me physically sick with disgust.  At the time of the War, what state you were from was more important than being a citizen of the United States.  Recall that Robert E. Lee, when offered command of all of the United States military forces (an act so incredibly stupid given that it was done right after the North invaded Virginia) refused saying that he could not take up his hand against his home.  “His home” was Virginia, not the United States.  Now we understand things differently. I recognize that in these modern times that I’m a citizen of the USA first and Wisconsin second.  So, when states such as South Carolina, Georgia, and others remove the Confederate Battle Flag from official display at the state house, or move it to some hidden place where it is only shown upon request, they are essentially officially giving that flag to the racists.  They are making the official declaration that the Confederate Battle Flag is no longer the physical representation of the memory of the Confederate soldier.  They are saying that yes indeed that flag is the representation of the Klan and allied racists.  The SCV simply cannot allow that.  The SCV has been officially the owners of ALL  of the Confederacy’s symbols.  Note:

Charge to the Sons of Confederate Veterans
“To you, Sons of Confederate Veterans, we will commit the vindication of the cause for which we fought. To your strength will be given the defense of the Confederate soldier’s good name, the guardianship of his history, the emulation of his virtues, the perpetuation of those principles which he loved and which you love also, and those ideals which made him glorious and which you also cherish.”
Lt. General Stephen Dill Lee, Commander General,
United Confederate Veterans,
New Orleans, Louisiana, April 25, 1906.

In 1906, with those veterans dying at a rapid rate the Confederate Battle Flag was given into the hands of the SCV for protection. Note that the Klan, Nazis, skinheads et al are not mentioned.

 

They’ve Already Won

As you may have already heard if you rely on news sources other than the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, the Muslim Student Association at UW-Milwaukee wants the campus to prohibit Walid Shoebat, a former PLO terrorist from speaking at the campus.  You can read about the issue HERE  and about Mr. Shoebat HERE. 

My hat is off to the Muslim Student Association for a masterful job of putting Mr. Shoebat on the defensive no matter what he does.  He now is in the unenviable position of having to prove a negative:  He must now prove that he is NOT anti-Muslim.  No matter what the man does or says, he must answer the age-old question “When did you stop beating your wife?” 

The Muslim Student Association doesn’t care whether Mr. Shoebat speaks.  They are in the catbird seat no matter whether the university allows the man to speak or not.  If the university caves (and given universities these days there is about a 60% chance that they will cave to the MSA) then they are home scott-free–no Mr. Shoebat mucking up their message of Islam as a religion of peace.  But if the university does the totally amazing and Mr. Shoebat is allowed to speak, no matter what the man says it will be framed by whether or not he came off as a hatemonger.  His message will be totally lost as it has already been shoved off the media screen by the MSA.  The MSA snuck in and set the media template for them:  “Mr. Shoebat is VERY CONTROVERSIAL and has a history of being anti-Muslim and anti-Palestinian.  At his speech will he dare touch on issues that will expose him as being anti-Muslim and anti-Palestinian?”

As I said, my hat’s off to the MSA.  They have done a masterful job of tarring this man.  Before he even gets a chance to open his mouth he has to prove the negative.  Perhaps conservatives should remember this technique when someone like Howard Dean comes to town.  Oops!  Too late!  He got a free ride.

 

Rough Language At Sports Events

This column by D. L. Stewart that appears in this morning’s Journal Sentinel explains why my church stopped having group events at Milwaukee Admirals games.  We used to do these things called “Dads and Kids Night Out” and we’d go to see an Admirals game.  The Milwaukee Admirals offered then, and probably still do, some terrific deals for church groups.  But they can’t control the fans.  Some of the chants were just too ribald for our taste.  Yeah, any kid on a school playground might hear the same thing.  But ultimately we didn’t think that the kids needed to hear adults, supposedly role models, doing the same thing.

You mix booze and spectators at a sporting event and you’ll get edgy language just about every time.  Camp Randall Stadium can be a wonderful experience–unless you sit in the student section. When our daughter was a little kid we took her to a game there.  Our tickets were at the far end of the studium away from the student section.  Thankfully, we wer surronded by what appeared to be a gathering of elderly alumni.  We only had to explain to our daughter who CrazyLegs Hirsch and Horse Ameche were. (Unfortunately, we didn’t know that the “5th Quarter”, one of the reasons tht my daughter wanted to go to the game, only takes place in front of the student section.)

One of the reasons that I like stock car racing is that I wear headphones and listen to the drivers, teams, and broadcasters.  Yeah, they know how to not delete the occaisional expletive.  But they use them far fewer expletives than the fans in the stands.  Even at Slinger, where scanning radio communication is not very common, the cars are loud enough to drown out the fans obscene chatter.  In between the races, I’m amazed that even the fans who drink don’t seem to cuss very much.

My question(s) is or are:  Does everything have to be dragged down to the lowest common denominator?  Does cheering for the home team have to become an exercise in the obscene?  I haven’t been to a Packer game in over 30 years and then it was a rare chance to get tickets to games at County Stadium.  But is shouting for women to expose their breasts as common Lambeau Field as at Giants Stadium? 

I’ve gone to Brewers games at Miller Park and always bought higher priced seats figuring that folks around me would be less likely to act stupid enough to get thrown from the game.  So far I’ve been proven right. But from what I hear, the bleachers can be a place that a Christian parent wouldn’t want to sit with their kids.

Are sports venues now going to become a place where no decent person would be found?  Are we eventually going to end up at the point where the neighborhood gossip whispers to a confidant “You hear about Ed Smedly?  He goes to Packers games”?

 

“Reid/Pelosi Lied. Our Agenda Died”

(Also posted at  http://community.myfoxmilwaukee.com/blogs/Basher51)

Interesting observation made today by someone-somewhere:  If poll after poll says that most Americans agree with the far left on things such as Iraq and that Bush/Cheney are the worst human beings ever to walk the face of the earth, then why aren’t the Democrats heeding the polls and doing the bidding of the far left? I get such a kick out of seeing bumper stickers and signs screaming “Impeach Bush and Cheney Now!” and “Wage Peace!  US Out Of Iraq!”  Well, the current congressional leadership promised you just such things.  Yet, they have barely lifted a finger beyond giving some very tepid support to those very ideas.  We were promised in the 2006 elections that by now Bush and Cheney would be impeached and our troops would be sunning themselves on the beaches of  the good old USA.  But Dennis Kucinich’s recent impeachment resolution couldn’t even get the time of day by the House and Senate majorities.  What’s even more amazing is the neo-libs are giving the Dems a pass on this abject failure.

We were told that the 06 elections were a vindication that the far left in this country had captured the heart of America.  But almost as soon as they won election, Pelosi and Reid both seemed to waste little time in backing away fast and far from all things liberal.  The extreme left told us that America had spoken, that America wanted our troops out of Iraq right now, Bush and Cheney given quick show trials and thrown into prison for the rest of their lives and then a few years more.  We were told by the far left that we Americans had spoken loudly that the entire corporate world was rife with corruption and needed a complete revamping and that unless you were one of the few favored CEO’s ala George Soros, Warren Buffett and Ted Turner that CEO’s shouldn’t make more than a streetcorner paperboy.

I exaggerate, I admit it.  But all of the so-called results and vindication of the neo-lib agenda that was the outcome of the 06 election as pontificated to us by the pundits has simply failed to materialize.  It isn’t even being proposed much less being voted into law.  Pelosi and Reid are spending most of their days hiding from the public.  When they do stick their heads out into the sunlight it is to make some silly and truly inane statement and then they go back into hiding.  Henry Waxman (aka Torquemada) promised us all sorts of hearings by the House Government Reform Committee, aka The Inquisition, that would truly devastate the Republican Party and root out the closeted conservatives in our midst.  But the Waxman did not commeth.  Indeed, it has been reported that he is in hiding with Pelosi and Reid. NONE, I repeat NONE, of the neo-lib agenda has been proposed much less enacted.  Health care?  Status quo.  Iraq? Status quo.  Corporate reform?  Status quo.  Energy?  Status quo.   Neo-libs:  Has it occurred to you that your promised revolution has not just failed, it has never happened! 

What is even more interesting is how rapidly the Democrat presidential campaigners have tossed off the neo-lib agenda.  As much as I detest listening to that screechy voice, even Hillary has said little that would appease the neo-libs.  And don’t forget that this is the primaries where the parties typically gin up the base.  But especially since the not very surprising success of the surge, Hillary has toned down the rhetoric of basically promising to stick the heads of Bush and Cheney on the White House fence.  Indeed, even Al Gore appeared in the Oval Office with Bush and didn’t scold and upbraid and generally make an a** of himself as most neo-cons would.  Unless he jumps up and down like he needs a potty break, Dennis Kucinich is barely recognized at the Democrat debates.

Could it be that since the Democrats could not deliver on their promise of assuring an American defeat in Iraq that they are fearful of a backlash by the neo-libs?  We were promised by Reid in particular that he would see to it that America was defeated in Iraq.  The Surge, he promised before it even happened, would be a total and complete defeat.  Yet, that promise was not delivered.  Pelosi promised a purge of all things conservative and her chief inquisitor Waxman promised Republican heads on a platter. They and they alone would root out all of the corruption in congress.  Well, make that corruption involving Republicans.  She would continue to ignore any corruption of the Democrats.   But if memory does not fail me, and it does at times, Waxman has held one very tepid hearing and Pelosi has been seen lunching with Republicans (even Bush and Cheney) when she can be found outside of her bunker.  No corporate heads have been hauled before the large nostrils of Waxman for a tongue lashing that would leave all neo-libs panting in the afterglow.  We were told that by now Bush would be forced to veto free medicine for every man woman and child–who could prove that they voted Democrat–and that oil companies would be foreced to finance the travels of every American–except for those who voted Republican.  (Exaggerator turned off!)  But nothing even close to that has happened.  The blame, we are told, is not Reid/Pelosi et al who promised us quick fixes to all of these problems.  No, the Democrat majorities in both houses are not to blame.  The blame we are told lies at the feet of just two men:  George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. But we were promised that the 06 elections that swept the Democrats into power on a huge tidal wave of neo-liberalism would serve up to us a huge banquet of big government largess in the form of cheap gasoline, free medication and health care, and a world where islamofascists would love instead of hate us because we left them alone to terrorize who they felt like terorrizing.

Given the really, really short attention spans of most neo-libs, it still surprises me that they focus their rage on Bush and Cheney and not on Reid and Pelosi.  The neo-libs were promised by Reid and Pelosi all sorts of things and yet they have delivered on none of it.  Indeed, they are rapidly becoming known for doing nothing.  It has been noted that the 110th Congress is well on its way to accomplishing the least of any Congress in US history. 

So neo-libs, you guys who foam at the mouth whenever anyone mentions Bush and Cheney, where is all of the sturm und drang at those who promised that your agenda would be carried out?  I’m waiting for the bumper stickers that say “Pelosi and Reid Lied/Our Agenda Died”.

 

Trent Lott Resigning

So, Trent Lott is resigning from the US Senate before the end of his term.  Is anyone going to miss him?  For the love of Pete, for the lat 5 years or so I didn’t even KNOW that he was in the Senate.  He was kind of a Herb Kohl to me: The little man who isn’t there.  There was a picture of the ribbon cutting at the new Amtrak station in Milwaukee today.  I saw some little bald smiling guy next to the governor.  “Who’s that little bald guy?” I asked.  I found out that amazingly enough he is a US Senator from Wisconsin.  It appears that he crawls out from under a rock every 6 years or so to spend a couple of million to buy another 6 year term. 

Cripes!  How did I get from Tent Lott to Herb Kohl?  Well, because either one at his best does all that he can to hide from having to create anything like a stir.  Apparently neither one wants to do anything lest he lose his job.  Perhaps Lott has it right:  Hide from making any tough decisions and then resign before you get kicked out. 

 

Those Darn Conspiracy Theories

Well my good friend ColbyDog has been rooting around the storage vault at Daily Kos or Democrat Underground and discovered some new conspiracy theories.  While these theories are certainly imaginative and, as with all conspiracy theories, contain a tiny, tiny, almost sub-atomic partical of truth, I think that it is time to once again address the whole subject of conspiracy theories.

First off, by the time any conspiracy theory be it left wing or right wing makes it to Milwaukee, likely it has been around the movers and shakers for, in many cases years.  Many of the conspiracy theories about Bush and Cheney are simply a reconstruction and updating of the same theories that were spread about Nixon and Johnson and Kennedy before them.  The stories about how the oil companies are taking over the world are the same stories that were spread about the steel companies in the Gilded Age.  Johnson colluded with the defense contractors during the Vietnam War.  Did you know that?  The only reason that we were there is because they were paying off Johnson to keep the war going.  The oil companies were constantly buying up patents for carburators that would let cars get 150 mph.  I don’t know how many hundreds of those carburators were purchased.  But since I first heard that one in about 1965, there must be a warehouse filled with advanced technology carburators.  No matter how ColbyDog or anyone else tries to dress up the newest pig, anyone who has been reasonably aware of current events for the last 30 years can tell you that, at the core, the conspiracy theory about carburators is nothing new.  In fact, I wonder why Michael Moore hasn’t done a movie searching out the warehouse wher all of those highly fuel efficient cars and car parts are stored?

Then there is the matter that if ColbyDog is reading about that conspiracy theory on DailyKos, then obviously the conspiracy is shattered already.  All of these conspiracies require that something be done unawares by the general public.  Certainly the law enforcement authorities must be kept out of the loop of what is being done by the conspirators. And above all the people who could bring discredit upon the miscreants perpetrating the conspiracy must never hear of it.  Yet, we are breathlessly given this information as if it is a big discovery.  So, congressional investigators, the FBI, the public advocacy watchdog groups DON’T read DailyKos or Democrat Underground?  Well, I’m writing a letter to my congressman and all of those watchdog groups to advise them that there is this huge treasuretrove of information about heinous illegal activity of the Bush and Cheney administration.

Which brings me to another point, and it is the one that galls me the most:  When we are advised of these terrible, terrible, incredibly illegal activities by our president and by corporations that are in cahoots, none of these conspiracy theories ever tell us what we are supposed to do with this information.  Indeed, none of them ever say what anyone is going to do about it.  When presented with a conspiracy theory, my first two questions are:  “What is being done about this?” and “What do you want me to do about it?”  Now think about this:  We are constantly harrangued by news media and pundits that we are living in the most terribly partisan era in our nation’s history (a blatant misperception as any history student can tell you).  Yet, armed with incontrovertible evidence presented in the latest conspiracy theory involving Bush and Cheney, don’t you think that Henry Waxman would be salivating buckets of spittle eagerly waiting to haul a Bush/Cheney victim in front of his House Governmental Reform Committee and berate that victim for hours?  Don’t you think that Pelosi and Reid, who have been scolded by their own party for their ienptitude at opposing Bush and Cheney would love to take the information in the latest conspiracy theory and just destroy the Republican Party with it?   Since we are told how the president and his henchmen are systematically destroying out constitutional rights (oddly with the exception of the 2nd Amendment which the conspiracy theorists never seem to mind) then why isn’t Sen. Robert Byrd the self-imposed conscious of the Senate, the man who so loves the Constitution that he carries a copy in his pocket and reads it daily, why isn’t he on the floor of the Senate railing at the constitutional misbehavior of the president?  Why isn’t Sen. Byrd on the Sunday morning talkshows railing against the violations?  Indeed, since most of these conspiracy theories involve at the very least violations of ethical rules and more commonly involve outright illegal activity, wouldn’t you think that Common Cause, Public Citizen,  and the myriad of other groups of lawyers itching to sue to make a buck would be hard at work filing lawsuits?  And where are the criminal complaints that the countless Democrat state attorneys general and left-leaning members of the DOJ are ethically bound to investigate if not file? But nothing ever comes of these conspiracy theories.  Indeed, one would think that Hillary of all people would be screeching out at least one or two of these theories during a campaign speech.  But even Hillary, so well known to the demon of revenge, has not so much as screeched a peep about any of them even though she is in a very tight race where if she gained the favor of the Democrat nutroots could pull off the nomination.  Al Gore, a man with a deep and very long-term hatred of all things Bush for how they denied him the presidency that he thought was owed him, never even refers to any one of these theories.

My personal take is that the Democrats are in on all of these conspiracy theories as well.  Every single conspiracy theory out there that involves the Bush Administration apparently also involves the upper-most eschelons of the Democrat Party.  They gotta be in on it–they never talk about any of these conspiracies.  Odd, from what ColbyDog posts and what is written on the DU and DK, you’d think that that Dems were angelic.  But I know differently!!   J’accuse!!!!

Seriously, here is some of my analysis on conspiracy theories. And let me say that I’m no expert, I’m just experienced by having lived long enough to see these things recycle.  First off, all of these conspiracy theories appeal to our egos.  We love to see the high and mighty fall into the same sort of trap that we ourselves would be prone to falling into.  Who doesn’t like to see a president knocked down a peg or two?  Who doesn’t love to hear how some big time celeb got nailed for drunken driving, or was involved in some nasty personal peccadillo?  Same thing with most of these conspiracy theories.  I think that Bush probably gets more than his share spread about him because of the way that he won the 2000 election.  Anything that can even remotely cast the appearance of impropriety is disseminated in order that some folks can say “See???  See???” just like we’d say about the guy we never thought was good enough to beat us out of the starting line-up in high school football. (A little of my personal experience showing there.)

Second, they make the complex simple.  A while back there was a conspiracy theory about Bush signing some executive order that on the face of it was right out of a James Bond movie.  But a little snooping on the internet showed that the fact is that due to a quirk in the law that is easier to follow than change, every president since (IIRC) Truman has signed this very same executive order so that the government could continue conducting IIRC, clandestine operations. Ever see the entire IRS code?  I had one opportunity to see the thing on a bookshelf once.  Make that several book shelves. Make that a lot of bookshelves.  It is staggeringly huge and, by the IRS’s own admission, impossible for anyone to comprehend.  That explains why you have so many theories about how the Kennedy’s circumvent the tax laws.  No doubt that they do.  In fact, you and I probably do as well and no one knows that they do it or even could know.  It is that way with laws governing foreign policy, trade practices, and especially espionage.  Everyday it is in session Congress adds to the staggering volume of law in this country.  Every day courts write opinions adding to and amending laws.  Adn then there are laws and regulations that must, by the nature of what they cover, remain clouded in secrecy.  In fact, I would venture to say that if you tried to inform the average citizen of what is in our espionage laws that they would empty their bladder in short order.  There is stuff that has to be in there and has to remain secret so that we can continue to collect information from friends and enemies and, to be sure, prevent information from being collected about us.  This is fertile ground of the imaginative mind of the conspiracy buff who is given just a peek at some of these regulations, or is told that he has been given a peek at them.  Either way the conspiracy buff sees enough to let his mind create another conspiracy.  One thing that we will probably never hear about is a conspiracy about what is actually in the IRS code.  Hey colbyDog, there’s a challenge.  Gin up a conspiracy of how the Bush/Cheney cabal is cheating the tax code.  No one will EVER be able to prove that one wrong!

Third, the hallmark about so many of these theories is that they don’t have a deadline.  You never, or very rarely ever, read a DU or Daily Kos conspiracy theory that says that by December 15 Cheney is going to sneak into everyone’s house and steal their first male born.  There is rarely any date-certain time frame ever divulged.  The event at the heart of the conspiracy theory happened at some vague point in the past.  The effects of the event won’t be known until some vague point in the future.  There is always just enough information to make the point intended, but never enough information to validate the event.  When pressed, the person disseminating the conspiracy theory will tell you:  “Just wait, it’s gonna happen, and then you’ll be sorry.  It will be too late.”  Frankly, I’ve been waiting on some of these theories for 35 years now.  I’m assuming that they will devastate my life any day now.

Fourth, they never tell you what you are supposed to do about this crucial, secret information that the person just happened to come upon.  Am I supposed to write my congressman.  No! He’s in on it too!  He’ll find out that you are in on it and the IRS will audit you.  Well, I’ll drop by the US Attorney and swear out a complaint.  No!  They’re in on it too!  How about I call my buddy at the newspaper!  No! They’re in on it too!  So, what am I supposed to do about this?  I don’t know!  There’s nothing that you can do about it!  Well, in that case I’m not going to worry about it and I’ll just continue with my life.

Fifth, and this is the one that actually gets my goat a bit:  If you don’t get all excited about this latest conspiracy theory, then you are not as smart as the person proffering the conspiracy theory.  The next time that someone starts telling you that Nancy Pelosi is secretly in cahoots with members of the Aryan Brotherhood and you tell them that is hogwash, watch how your intellect suddenly becomes suspect. ”You just don’t understand!  You’re just willingly ignorant!  If you were as smart (or well-informed) as me, then you would get it.  But you are just too stupid to comprehend the imminent danger!” Back during the days of the Carter Administration the father of a good friend of mine was big in the John Birch Society.  Well, this guy checked under his bed every night of the week just in case a commie or whatever was hiding there.  I’m sure that he figured that the government, or the Tri-Lateral Commission, or the Council on Foreign Relations, or the Masonic Lodge down the street were bugging his house.  Everytime I was at there house I got loaded up with all of the latest conspiracies.  (Many of those conspiracies are the same ones being reincarnated today by the Daily Kos and Democrat Underground folks.) Being a constant skeptic myself, as soon as I asked questions I’d get unloaded on for being ignorant of the basic facts that were right in front of me.  You see, my buddy’s dad was a lumber sales man and a darn good one at that.  But, according to his son, was never considered the brightest bulb in the chandelier by members of his family.  Therefore, having this secret knowledge of these terrible conspiracies made him “smarter” than those around him. It gave him the ability to scorn the intellect of those who disagreed because he was able to take very complex matters and distill them down to simple conspiracies.  The guy also had a bad temper, especially when he was drunk, which was nearly every night of the week.  I learned early on, and I’ve pretty much stayed the course, that if it made the guy feel good by calling me ignorant of the basic facts at least he wasn’t screaming at me and beating up his son–my friend.

Look, I’m willing to admit that some of these conspiracy theories do end up coming true.  Often when they come true it is in a far less spectacular fashion than the disseminators of them said that they would.  Many times the veracity of the conspiracy just ended up being another hum-drum part of how a crazy world spins on its annual trip around the sun.  Sometimes we find out that what scholars were certain was a part of a mass conspiracy ended up just being a strange set of coincidental events.  During the golden age of newspapers back in the 20’s and 30’s when cities such as New York and Chicago had more newspapers than you could shake stick at, they had reporters who did nothing but track down conspiracy theories.  Those guys were considered to have some of the most entertaining work in newspapering.  But rarely did the conspiracies that they investigate come true.

And that is how I look at most of them now.  They are entertaining.  When the test of time is applied to them and they fade from view, at least we can look back at them and laugh and look forward to the day when they return with different names and events.